20 September 2009

Panic home work

Chapter 2 discusses the steps for treatment: monitoring your own panic patterns to learn more about possible triggers that make you feel vulnerable, learning new strategies to manage sensations of panic, developing skills at identifying catastrophic thought patterns, gradually confronting the situations or sensations that lead to panic, and reducing avoidance behavior.
Through the years, I have become well versed in the physiological/neurological aspects of panic disorder. I know that I have multiple types of panic, namely anticipatory, rebound, and rolling panic. I also am aware that I generally panic unexpectedly unless I have been under stress for an extended period. In that case, you can pretty much count on me falling into rebound and rolling panic soon after the stressful situation is eliminated.
I learned previously about catastrophic thought patterns, which is definitely part of my patterns. I kill myself with "what ifs" and learned to tell myself "then what." So given my history, I probably need a quick refresher of the above before moving into the sensation encounters. But something I've already considered is the avoidance behavior.
Often families do things to protect the panic client from having to feel anxious. According to my workbook, this is a list of common ways families may accommodate the panic client:

  1. No longer going out to eat in restaurants

  2. choosing seats on the aisle or near an exit

  3. avoiding crowded venues or activities

  4. Taking over responsibilities such as grocery shopping or taking children to activities

  5. always carrying a cell phone or pager in order to contact a "safe person"

  6. Not taking vacation away from a "safe zone"

  7. accompanying them when they are frightened to go someplace alone

  8. avoiding work trips where they may need to leave town for a few days
After seeing this list, I realized what a small space I live in! My immediate thoughts were that this sounds just like a family enabling a drug addict to remain addicted. But I am not a drug addict--It took a while to wrap my brain around the idea that my family may have 'enabled' me to remain in the cocoon of safety. I started looking at it more closely and this is what I discovered:
what roles or family functions have you given up or reduced because of panic?

  • Brian has done the grocery shopping for nearly 26 years.

  • I do not like to cook, but I am also very concerned about it not being good so I rarely make dinner or meals for the family

  • Family gatherings with Brian's family

  • I wish I could avoid gatherings with my family but work through the anticipatory and rebound panic

  • date nights with my husband

  • attendance at church activities

  • attendance at children's school activities
what efforts does your family make to help you keep your panic at a manageable level?

  • kids all know that if we are out in public and I state that I need to leave, we leave right now. We do not put our items back, we leave them and go.

  • removed the telephone from our bedroom because it startles me

  • kids rarely invite friends over. If they do, they warn their friends that their mom is weird and it has to be quiet

  • noise level in the home is kept to a minimum

  • kids know to prove five Ws when going on dates so I don't freak out
I discovered that I live in a very tight little cocoon that consists mostly of my bedroom. I come out to eat or to watch TV sometimes. I rarely leave the house for purposes other than work or church. I will go to the movies occasionally but it has to be at a specific theater. I carry medication with me "just in case." I think I have created such a structured environment at home to eliminate any surprises. What I really discovered is that the term for such intrusive avoidance is "agoraphobia." Welcome to my little corner of the world.

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