BRAIN TALK

I am starting my first week of a nasty cold, a gift I accepted from my sweetie. He has been ill with a lung infection as well so he didn't shave all week. He is so cute with a goatee, but I new it was coming off before today....bummer. We both planned to work today, which meant I was going into the office.

I arrived at the train depot with time to spare! Whoooot! Not only that, but I also found a great parking place! As the train rolled into the station, I swiped my badge and with perfect timing passed onto the platform. Whew!! I was surprised at the number of people riding today. I chose a car located toward the middle and went to the upper area to find a seat. As I settled into my seat, I realize it is too quiet. WAAAAAAAY too quiet.

I quickly assess myself and am relieved that my heart is not pounding and I am not hyperventilating. The problem is outside of myself. I verbalize to no one specifically, "it seems too quiet. Did they shut down the engine?" Another passenger acknowledged that she was sure they did. I asked if it shut down because it is early and another passenger gave the current time and also added the scheduled time for departure, which wasn't for another ten minutes. I thanked him for that info and stated, "well, that makes me feel better at least." Moments later, an employee of UTA entered the area and informed us that the train was actually broken down. Everyone disembarked and awaited the next train, which was coming into the station.

This time, I chose the car located at the southern most of the train. This is the car which has the one and only bathroom. I thought this was a great opportunity for me to actually see whether anyone uses it. I discovered that yes they do. I even saw one man who entered in workout clothing and exited dressed as a professional businessman.

Arrived at work just before 9:00 AM whooooot! Right on time. I had an average day at work. Nothing exciting, but I stayed busy. At the end of the day, when I realized the bus back to the train depot would be arriving anytime, I requested that my coworker actually complete the mailing procedure for a project I had been working on all day. She was happy to oblige, but after I had taken the time to explain what the situation was and what she would need to do, I had no time left. The bus should be here now!!!!

I grabbed my computer, keys and wallet and made haste for the nearest exit. I wore tennis shoes today and I flew down those stairs! whoooooot! I quickly became very aware that I had not used the restroom at all this day. My bladder was not very happy about bouncing down four flights of stairs! I planned to find a restroom when I got to the train depot. Unfortunately, there are no public restrooms at the train depot so I walked a block planning to use a restroom in the old Rio Grande building. I forgot that other businesses close down and lock their doors at 5:00 PM which was about 45 minutes ago. Ughhhh! So I walked back toward the train depot, tenderly.

The whole experience took another twenty minutes and I was aching, no I decided I was really hurting, but the train and I arrived at the same time. So I headed for the southern most car of the train, knowing there was a bathroom there!

When the train departed, a UTA employee entered the bathroom and washed his hands. The nemesis suddenly starts analyzing the surroundings making ridiculous conclusions. I can say that now. At the time everything was matter of fact, logical and should be obvious to all around me. Let's begin...

The train has been on the tracks all day, how often do they service the bathrooms onboard? Probably once a day, when the train is removed from service. That obviously means this bathroom has not been serviced since last night. This is a moving vehicle. What do bathrooms look like in moving vehicles? I picture miniature toilets with blue gel. Do they even exist? I imagine the old outhouses from Yellowstone. When you flush the toilet, does it just open to a compartment and all contents 'fall' to their final resting place? The employee washed his hands though, and he did so with the door open so there must be a source of water. hmmmm thinking about water is not good when the bladder is begging for attention!

We leave the station and others begin to step forward to use the restroom. Men. Well, if you are a man there is no problem. Afterall, you aren't required to sit on an object while traveling 70 miles an hour. An object that men have pointed their own equipment at and probably shaken at it too.  Two more men use the restroom. I notice some wipe their hands on their jeans when exiting. hmmmm. Do women ever use this thing???? At American Fork, a young lady enter the bathroom. I heard what I assumed to be the 'seat' slam down. Another man approached to use the facility but the door was locked. Well, that was a relief!!!! At least the lock works correctly! He decided to stand there and wait. The young lady slid the door open with a disgusted look on her face and then slammed it behind her. Oh Yea, definitely bad experience!!

Then the man went in and you could hear him gagging. When he exited, he wiped his hand across his chin and then wiped his hand on his jeans. Ummmmmm I definitely was not going to use this restroom. When we arrived in Provo, it caused me great anguish to move to a standing position. I tenderly moved toward the door and my shoe lace got caught on the edge pulling it untied. AUGGHHHH!! Seriously! I cannot bend over and tie my shoe!! Perhaps if I make it to the next bench, I can lift my leg up and then tie it. Success. Slow, Slow progress toward my vehicle. AUGGHHHH! lift my bag up and into the vehicle. Now to climb up and sit behind the wheel. AUGHHHHH! Do I dare go without my seatbelt. NO. I am not ready to die, although I think I am going to die--so I put on my seatbelt. Breaking the speedlimit, and cautiously avoiding bumps and unnecessary turns, I make my way home.

I'm home!! My own home!!! That means my own toilet!! It may not meet Martha Stewart standards but I am familiar with it. I know what it looks like and how it operates. I pad into my private abode and release the discomfort of the Nemesis. It took a longgggg time!!

Does your brain talk to you like this???