"You are constantly told in Panic Disorder (depression) that your judgment is compromised, but a part of Panic Disorder (depression) is that it touches cognition. That you are having a breakdown does not mean that your life isn't a mess. If there are issues you have successfully skirted or avoided for years, they come cropping back up and stare you full in the face, and one aspect of Panic Disorder (depression) is a deep knowledge that the comforting doctors, who assure you that your judgment is bad, are wrong. You are in touch with the real fear(terribleness) of your life. You can accept rationally that later, after the medication sets in, you will be better able to deal with the fear (terribleness), but you will not be free of it. When you have Panic Disorder (depression) the past and future are absorbed entirely by the present moment, as in the world of a three year old. You cannot remember a time when you felt better, at least not clearly; and you certainly cannot imagine a future time when you will feel better."
Karen L Hill &; Andrew Solomon, The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
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