Met again with Dr. D. He wanted to know how my trips to Gateway Mall are going. I told him that it was not the same, because I was looking for the irrational thoughts. But I was able to take a field trip out to the new building. I explained how this took place and went into detail about how my anxiety levels would spike. We decided one of my illogical patterns of thought is a fear of harm.
These situations caused my anxiety levels to increase: 1. it was dark (I will not know where I am at) 2. It was going into an unfamiliar area on the WEST side of town; (known for being a more violent area) 3. Strangers on the bus. (Are they homeless, crazy, or just rude and mean?) 4. Unknown address and bus numbers (Do not know exactly where I am going) 5. bus load of black and Latino teenagers (are they gang members?)
Things that helped decrease the anxiety: 1. Everyone on the first bus took interest in what I was doing and wanted to help me. 2. The bus driver on the bus full of teens reassured me by saying this was normal crowding in the morning and the teens were students who missed their school bus.
I felt excited of my accomplishment, but I shared with Dr D my frustration at how long it took the adrenaline to stop. I know that when an acute panic attack occurs, it will generally burn out within 20-30 minutes. I also know that when you exercise, you heart beat and breathing should return to normal within 10-15 minutes. I compare my continued level of anxiety following stressful experiences to these periods.
However, Dr D helped reframe that thought for me. He used an example of someone exercising at the gym. Their heart rate would increase, their breathing would increase, and there would be adrenaline pumping through the system. When they stop exercising, the body returns to a state of rest. However, if the same person was exercising on a treadmill and someone came into the gym and held them captive with a gun—even though they have stopped exercising, the adrenaline will stay at an elevated rate. In fact, it would likely remain elevated even after rescue by law enforcement.
So, because I have a fear of Danger, I can’t just exercise. I exercise with an imaginary gun held at my head! Totally made sense!
My assignment this week is to continue exposing myself to uncomfortable settings. This includes allowing the OSM one to drive when we go to Wyoming for Chase’s birthday.
Things that helped decrease the anxiety: 1. Everyone on the first bus took interest in what I was doing and wanted to help me. 2. The bus driver on the bus full of teens reassured me by saying this was normal crowding in the morning and the teens were students who missed their school bus.
I felt excited of my accomplishment, but I shared with Dr D my frustration at how long it took the adrenaline to stop. I know that when an acute panic attack occurs, it will generally burn out within 20-30 minutes. I also know that when you exercise, you heart beat and breathing should return to normal within 10-15 minutes. I compare my continued level of anxiety following stressful experiences to these periods.
However, Dr D helped reframe that thought for me. He used an example of someone exercising at the gym. Their heart rate would increase, their breathing would increase, and there would be adrenaline pumping through the system. When they stop exercising, the body returns to a state of rest. However, if the same person was exercising on a treadmill and someone came into the gym and held them captive with a gun—even though they have stopped exercising, the adrenaline will stay at an elevated rate. In fact, it would likely remain elevated even after rescue by law enforcement.
So, because I have a fear of Danger, I can’t just exercise. I exercise with an imaginary gun held at my head! Totally made sense!
My assignment this week is to continue exposing myself to uncomfortable settings. This includes allowing the OSM one to drive when we go to Wyoming for Chase’s birthday.
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