keeping up

Met with Dr D. again this past week. I let him know all I have done in my homework and let him review my workbook. I am doing really good work between visits. My homoework this week is to repeat the walk to the Gateway Mall every day and continue to pay attention to my thoughts. He recommends I leave out the Mr. Pibb! LOL!I do a lot of catastrophic thinking. Yea, it is possible that that person is dangerous but it is just as likely that hey aren't. Dr D. was able to explain why I feel the stinging sensations in my back just prior to a major panic. It has to do with the rush of adrenaline and the nerve endings in the spine. It was very interesting and something I had not previously been aware of. He explained that is why by the time I am "burning" in my arms or leggs, it is too late; the body has taken over the fight or flight response.

My dad is seeking a scooter to get around town on. I told him I would talk to my sisters and see what we can find. He said he is getting along better with Mary now than he did when they were married. That is good. Once again he said Mary is asking when I will be coming back to Cody because she has something she wants to ask me. Dad doesn't know what it is, but he is letting me know she wants to talk to me. It is unlikely. If she is given the chance, it will probably be a one sided conversation.

I have discovered a new author that I am really liking. His name is ted dekker. He writes Christian fiction and it is really good. No preaching! Just great suspense and action filled stories that portray the differences between good and evil really well.

Tori seems to be moving forward with her heartbreak. Although she is willing to forgive, she still questions what happened. I do too, for that matter. She is good about being humble and forgiving, but I have a bitter anger that seethes beneath. Most of it is aimed at his dad, and then at the Elder. Oh, Well. It will simmer awhile before finally cooling off.

HR at work is examining the options available for me to receive an ADA accomodation in my scheduling. In the meantime, I have noticed that I have nothing to do at work. I feel I may be the next one to go when the budget gets sliced again. I recognize that my co-worker and I do not work well as a team, but that is because a heirarchy is encouraged by management. In fact, this week the superviser went to my co-worker to show her something that needed fixed in the annual report. My co-worker then came to me to fix it. When I needed clarification, she went back to our supervisor and then came back to me with the information. But, because it didn't make sense to her, it was a bit difficult to interpret what our supervisor wanted. I ultimately sent him an email showing the table that the charts were based on and then went into the report and corrected a table. My personal frustration was that my co-worker was the one assigned to edit that portion of our database. The numbers on the portion I edited were accurate. Augh! So I am in a give-up mode. If my co-worker wants all the power, she can have all the responsibility too.

Aunt T has a new grandson. He is so cute!